Lisa's Substitute
The War of the Simpsons
Three Men and a Comic Book
Barney: (to Patty) Hey! You're Homer's sister-in-law, right? I remember you. But I don't remember you being so beau [burp] tiful!
(She sprays him in the eyes with Mace)
Barney: Oh, ow, hey! [burp] [cough] Is that a new kind of Mace? It's really painful!

Bait Shop Clerk: Yep, "General Sherman". They say he's five hundred pounds of bottom-dwelling fury, don't you know. No one knows how old he is, but if you ask me (and most people do), he's hundred years if he's a day.
Customer: And, uh, no one's ever caught him?
Bait Shop Clerk: Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. His eyes were like steel, cold, hard. Had a shock of hair, red like the fires of Hell...

Homer: Mmmm, Horse Doovers...

Season 1 Season 2 Quotes Season 3
Bart Gets an "F"Simpson and DelilahTreehouse of Horror (aka "The Simpsons Halloween Special") • Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every FishDancin' HomerDead Putting SocietyBart vs. ThanksgivingBart the DaredevilItchy & Scratchy & MargeBart Gets Hit by a CarOne Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue FishThe Way We WasHomer vs. Lisa and the 8th CommandmentPrincipal CharmingOh Brother, Where Art Thou?Bart's Dog Gets an FOld MoneyBrush with GreatnessLisa's SubstituteThe War of the SimpsonsThree Men and a Comic BookBlood Feud
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