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| − | '''The Wettest Stories Ever Told''' is an episode of [[The Simpsons]] that aired on [[April 23]], [[2006]]. |
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| + | {{PrevNext|Eps|Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore|Girls Just Want to Have Sums}} |
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| + | {{Noncanon Episode}} |
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| + | {{episode |
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| + | |image = The Wettest Stories Ever Told.png|225px |
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| + | |Episode Number = 374 |
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| + | |productionCode = HABF11 |
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| + | |originalAirdate = April 23, 2006 |
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| + | |couchGag = The Simpson's are in a puzzle. Homer inserts his head on Maggie's and biceverse, but corrects it soon. |
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| + | |Show Runner = [[Al Jean]] |
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| + | |Written By = [[Jeff Westbrook]] |
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| + | |Directed By = [[Mike B. Anderson]] |
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| + | }}{{Quote|Perhaps an old sea yarn might pass the time. Too bad I don't know any.|[[Horatio McCallister|The Sea Captain]]}} |
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| + | |||
| + | '''The Wettest Stories Ever Told''' is the eighteenth episode of ''[[The Simpsons]]''<nowiki>'</nowiki> seventeenth season. This is one of several Simpsons episodes which are considered [[anthology episodes]] that features mini-stories. |
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==Synopsis== |
==Synopsis== |
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| + | When dinner at the Frying Dutchman takes a little longer than expected to cook, thanks to an uncooperative octopus armed with knives, and the Sea Captain doesn't know any sea tales, the Simpsons take up the slack by telling stories of three famous ships; Lisa with the Mayflower, Bart with the Bounty, and Homer with a ship that sounds an awful lot like the Posiedon (and is even named for a god of the sea, albeit the Roman one). |
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| − | A dinner at the Frying Dutchman gone wrong turns into an excuse for another anthology show, this time with a nautical theme - [[Lisa Simpson|Lisa]] tells about the ''[[Mayflower]]'' voyage, [[Bart Simpson|Bart]] tells about [[Mutiny on the Bounty|mutiny]] in [[Tahiti]], and [[Homer Simpson|Homer]] tells about [[The Poseidon Adventure|capsizing cruise ships]]. |
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| − | |||
| − | ===Lisa's Story=== |
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| − | [[Marge Simpson|Marge]], [[Bart Simpson|Bart]], and [[Lisa Simpson|Lisa]] board the [[Mayflower]] to head for the new world, but just as they do, [[Homer Simpson|Homer]] runs ahead of them and hides in a barrel. They see the police looking for him, and they take pity on him as they hear him praying (he is actually praying that the police kill them instead of him). Even so, they take him with them and dress him up like them. Marge immediately grows on Homer, but Moe likes her as well and is instantly jealous of their friendship. To get Homer out of the way, Moe takes him down to the storage room where all the beer is held and tells him to drink whenever a wave hits the boat. He gets drunk, and Captain Flanders and Reverend Lovejoy find him and other passengers partying. Moe blames Homer, and they place him in a stock. Then, a storm approaches, and Flanders gets knocked out. Homer claims that he steers better when he is drunk, and while drinking a bottle of wine, he leads them safely out of the storm. He and Marge get together, and they all make it to the New World. While having the first [[Thanksgiving]] with the [[Native Americans in the United States|Native Americans]], Flanders says that he's almost sorry for what the [[Pilgrims]] will do to them later. |
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| − | |||
| − | ===Bart's Story (Mutiny on the Bounty)=== |
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| − | The HMAV ''Bounty'' sets sail from England, commanded by [[Captain Bligh]] (Skinner). Bligh severely mistreats his crew, tossing off their mail. They arrive in [[Tahiti]], where the crew has a wonderful time (Bligh later orders them to forget the vacation). Willie warns him of a [[mutiny]], but Bligh ignores him. Eventually, [[Fletcher Christian|First Mate Bart Christian]] leads a mutiny and sends Bligh and Willie off in a [[lifeboat]]. Bligh mistreats Willie and is sent away on a [[sea turtle]]. Captain Bart orders the crews to set sail for Tahiti...then he throws away the ship's wheel and they crash into [[Antarctica]]. |
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| − | == |
+ | == Full Story == |
| + | When the Simpsons' plans for a nice family outing at [[The Frying Dutchman]] turns into a dining disaster (due to an uncooperative [[wikipedia:Octopus|octopus]] armed with knives), the family tries to salvage the night by turning the episode into yet another ''Simpsons'' anthology show (in the same vein as ''[[Tales from the Public Domain]]'', ''[[Margical History Tour]]'' and ''[[Simpson Christmas Stories]]'')---but with a nautical theme. |
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| ⚫ | |||
| + | === '''Mayflower Madman''' (Lisa's story) === |
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| − | ==Trivia== |
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| + | [[File:Lisa's_Story.jpg|thumb|208px]][[Marge Simpson|Marge]] (who's a widow) and her two children, [[Bart Simpson|Bart]] and Lisa, board the Mayflower to head for the new world, but just as they do, Homer runs ahead of them and hides in a barrel. Marge, Bart and Lisa see that he's wanted by the police (Lenny Leonard and Carl Carlson) for questioning on why the current time period is called the Jacobean era when the King's name is James rather than Jacob, and the family takes pity on him. Marge and Homer start to like each other, but Moe, who also likes Marge, instantly becomes jealous of their friendship. To get Homer out of the way, Moe takes him down to the storage room where all the beer is held and tells him to drink whenever a wave hits the boat. He gets drunk, and Captain Flandish and Reverend Lovejoy find him and other passengers partying. |
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| − | * In the US, a trailer for the film ''[[Poseidon (film)|Poseidon]]'' aired during the episode's commercial breaks before Homer's story (a remake of the original film ''[[The Poseidon Adventure]]''). |
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| − | *Among the people on the ''Neptune'' are Moe, Disco Stu, Krusty, Kirk (Milhouse's dad), Luigi, Agnes, Apu, [[Elizabeth Hoover|Miss Hoover]], Barney, and Dr. Hibbert. |
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| − | *This episode is the third in the seventeenth season to have the word 'stories' or 'story' in it, the other two being [[Simpsons Christmas Stories]] and [[The Seemingly Never-Ending Story]]. |
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| − | *After only six weeks, this is another episode in the seventeenth season to be a multi-story episode, or to be split into three sections. This is like the [[Treehouse of Horror]] series or other similar three-part episodes like [[Trilogy of Error]], from [[List of The Simpsons episodes|season 12]]. |
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| − | *The [[fourth wall]] is broken when Moe tells the audience that Old Englishmen spoke with th at the end of sentences, along with the inclusion of thee, ye and thou. Moe has similarly addressed the audience in one of flashback scenes in, ''[[The Way We Weren't]]''. |
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| − | *[[Homer Simpson|Homer]] and [[Moe Szyslak|Moe's]] aggressive competition over [[Marge Simpson|Marge]]'s love (as shown in Lisa's story) has been an ongoing gag in the show that especially references to Season 16 ([[Mommie Beerest]]). |
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| − | *At the end of "The Neptune Adventure," we see the crew of the HMS ''Bounty'' coming out of the mist, only for them to look like skeletons, a possible reference to ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl]]''. |
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| − | *Bart appears twice in "The Neptune Adventure"; as himself throughout the story, and as Bart Christian/"Capt. Bart-bossa" at the end. |
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| − | *The original North American airdate was intended to be April 16; however, it was replaced by [[The Last of the Red Hat Mamas]]. |
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| − | *Homer, Marge and Bart are the only characters to appear in all three stories. |
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| + | Moe blames Homer, and they place him in a stock. A storm then approaches, and Captain Flandish becomes unconscious. Homer claims that he's actually a good driver when he's drunk (claiming that he's been driving drunk since he was just twelve), and while drinking a bottle of wine while still trapped in the stock and shirtless, he leads them safely out of the storm, and he and Marge become an official couple. All members of the Mayflower meet the [[wikipedia:Wampanoag people|Wampanoag]] tribe, and Flandish thanks [[Chief Wiggum|Great Chief Wig-Gum]] for all he has done for them, as he regrets for what they are going to do to them. Wiggum then asks what that is, and Flandish replies it is giving him the biggest piece [[wikipedia:Pumpkin pie|pumpkin pie]], and mumbles that they are going to take their land and wipe them out. |
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| − | ==Cultural References== |
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| − | * This episode also references [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]]'s "[[The Rime of the Ancient Mariner]]". In the first story, after the storm breaks off, Homer notices an albatross which he eats. Unlike the poem, this action does not lead to unfortunate incidents. The final act with the appearance of the ''Bounty'' could possibly be a reference to the appearance of the ghost ship. |
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| − | * Homer's story is a parody of ''[[The Poseidon Adventure (1972 film)|The Poseidon Adventure]]'', an action film. There are several similarities between Homer's story and ''The Poseidon Adventure''. Several characters die in ways similar to the movie: Lenny falls off a ladder into surging water and Comic Book Guy dies while trying to tie a rope underwater, both quite similar to the deaths of major characters in the movie. This episode also aired just weeks before the remake of the movie, titled ''[[Poseidon (film)|Poseidon]]'', premiered. |
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| − | * The song played at the beginning of Homer's story is "[[Rock The Boat]]" by the [[Hues Corporation]]. |
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| − | * [[Comic Book Guy]]'s "inspirational music" is "Alone Again (Naturally)" by [[Gilbert O'Sullivan]]. |
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| − | * "[[Island in the Sun (song)|Island in the Sun]]" by [[Weezer]] plays during the montage of the ''Bounty'' crew in [[Tahiti]]. |
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| − | * When the ''Bounty'' crew is in Tahiti, the theme instrumental music that is played is similar to that written in the musical movie ''[[South Pacific (musical)|South Pacific]]''. |
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| − | * At the end of Homer's story, the crew of the ''Bounty'' reappears as living skeletons, parodying ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl]]''. |
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| − | * Lisa sings a parody of "The Morning After" from ''[[The Poseidon Adventure (1972 film)|The Poseidon Adventure]]'', which foreshadows the upcoming destruction of the ''S.S. Neptune''. |
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| − | * Burns makes references to ''[[Earthquake (film)|Earthquake]]'', ''[[The Towering Inferno (film)|The Towering Inferno]]'', ''[[The China Syndrome]]'', and ''[[The Apple Dumpling Gang (film)|The Apple Dumpling Gang]]'', which were popular disaster films of the 1970's (except for ''The Apple Dumpling Gang''). |
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| − | * The ship in Homer's story is called the ''Neptune''. "[[Neptune (god)|Neptune]]" was the Roman god of the sea; the Greek name for the same deity was "[[Poseidon]]". |
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| − | * Scenes of Bart standing on the mast of the ''Bounty'', and the use of music by [[Luigi Boccherini]], are references to the film ''[[Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World]]''. |
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| + | === '''The Whine-Bar Sea''' (Bart's story) === |
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| − | ==Quotes== |
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| + | [[File:Bart's_Story.jpg|thumb|left|202px]] The [[wikipedia:HMS Bounty|Bounty]] sets sail from England in 1789, commanded by [[Seymour Skinner|Captain Bligh]]<span style="display: none;"> </span>. During the first 718 days of the voyage, Bligh severely mistreats his crew, such as by not giving them water at last day in order to save water and tossing off their mail because they had drawn a picture of Bligh making out with a merman. Willie warns him of a [[wikipedia:Mutiny on the Bounty|mutiny]] if he mistreats them too much, but Bligh ignores him. They arrive in [[Tahiti]], where Homer and Marge are the rulers of island and the crew has a wonderful time until it was time to leave. The crew wanted to stay at Tahiti, but Captain Bligh tells them that it was wonderful vacation but they must forget it and sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in-a-round while working. |
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| − | ===The Mayflower=== |
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| + | Eventually, Bligh continues abusing the crew more as they sing, and [[Bart Simpson|First Mate Bart Christian]], who had enough of this, leads a mutiny with the help of the crew and sends Bligh and Willie off in a [[wikipedia:Lifeboat (shipboard)|lifeboat]]. Willie then berates Bligh for not listening to him in the first place, but that only makes Bligh more angry at Willie, challenging him as too much of a spineless coward to mutiny. In response, Willie forces Bligh off the lifeboat (proving that he is not a coward) and rows away while Bligh holds onto on a [[wikipedia:Sea turtle|sea turtle]], who then submerges into the sea, with Skinner in tow after the latter taunts it. Bart, as the new Captain of the Bounty, orders the crews to set sail for Tahiti. Then he throws away the ship’s [[wikipedia:Ship's wheel|helm]] and they crash into [[wikipedia:Antarctica|Antarctica]]. |
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| − | *'''Sea Captain:''' Sorry about the delay. The chef is having trouble with tonight's special. ''(camera shows the chef fighting an [[octopus]] with knives in the kitchen)'' Meanwhile, I can send a bus boy out to get you something from a better restaurant. <br /> '''Marge:''' [[Red Lobster]]?! <br /> '''Sea Captain:''' Not that good. Until then perhaps an old sea yarn might pass the time. (''pauses for a moment)'' Too bad I don't know any.<br /> '''Lisa:''' I know one, about the most important sea voyage in American history — the journey of the Mayflower.<br />'''Sea Captain:''' Aw, yes. The ship that brought [[prostitute]]s to America. <br /> '''Lisa:''' Not Prostitutes, [[Protestant]]s! |
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| − | *'''Homer (hiding in a barrel on the Mayflower, praying):''' Oh, Lord, please let the soldiers kill this family instead of me. |
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| − | *'''Homer:''' What kind of a booze cruise is this? Where's the hooch?<br />'''Ned Flandish:''' We puritans have no place for drunkenness. Or colorful clothes, or dreaming, or poetry. So if you write a sonnet, keep it under your bonnet! Be... Oh no! That was a poem! ''(whips himself on the back)'' Forgive me Lord! A little salt on the wounds... ''(pours salt'') And I'm good. |
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| − | *'''Ned Flandish:''' Such bad language from a woman. Oh no! I just thought of you as a woman! ''(begins whipping himself again)'' |
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| − | *'''Homer (after strangling Bart):''' I'm so sorry, Marge. <br /> '''Marge:''' Don't worry. You're choking him the way his father used to. ''(holds up a locket with a picture of her first husband strangling Bart)'' Good times. |
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| − | *'''Homer:''' I thought you guys didn't party on the [[Homosexual|Gay]]flower.<br />'''Moe:''' Stop calling it that! |
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| − | *'''Bart:''' Aw, when we landed I was gonna denounce my sister as a witch.<br />'''Lisa:''' I keep telling you, the ability to add two digit numbers is not [[witchcraft]]!<br />'''Bart:''' Thirty-one plus forty-three. <br /> '''Lisa:''' Seventy-four. <br /> '''Puritans:''' Witch! Witch! Witch! <br /> '''Homer:''' People, this is madness! We can burn the witch later! |
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| − | *'''Homer:''' Land ho!<br />'''Marge:''' What did you call me? |
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| + | === "'''Watership D'ohn'''"/"'''[[wikipedia:The Poseidon Adventure|The Neptune Adventure]]'''" (Homer's story) === |
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| − | ===Mutiny on the Barty=== |
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| + | [[File:Homer's_Story.jpg|thumb|224px]] |
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| − | *'''Homer:''' Let me tell the second story! <br /> '''Marge:''' You can tell the third one. Bart will tell the second because it is usually the weakest. |
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| − | *'''Captain Seymour Bligh (over speaker):''' Welcome to Day 718 of our voyage. First off, in an attempt to preserve water, you will not be given any water. ''(crew groans)'' And also, because of a sketch of myself making out with a mer-man ''(shows the offending picture)'' I am dumping all your mail from home. ''(Willie does so)'' I can assure you that there were cookies in that mail. Good cookies, the kind only a loving mother or Milhouse's father could bake. <br /> '''Second Officer Milhouse:''' My father's alive?! <br /> '''Seymour Bligh:''' No, he died while baking. It's all in the letter. |
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| − | *'''Dolph:''' I hate this job. It's nothing like the brochure. ''(holds up the brochure, which has a British sailor with two women)'' <br /> '''Kearney:''' Maybe that's what happens on the last day. |
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| − | *'''Willie:''' I warn ya, Captain. Push this crew too far and there'll be a mutiny! <br /> '''Seymour Bligh:''' Mutiny?! On the ''Bounty''? What have you been smoking? <br /> '''Willie:''' [[Opium]]. <br /> '''Seymour Bligh:''' Besides from that. |
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| − | *'''Chief Homer:''' Welcome to [[Tahiti]]. Enjoy our beaches, [[luau]]s, ladies, and remember — [[Las Vegas|what happens in Tahiti ''stays'' in Tahiti]]. <br /> '''Marge:''' Because we have no way of communicating with the outside world. Tell me, has [[Robert Fulton]] invented the [[steam boat]] yet?<br />'''Jimbo:''' Any day now. |
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| − | *'''Captain Bart Christian:''' Well boys, you doubted me, but there they are — the most beautiful women in the world. ''(camera shows the Bounty trapped in a glacier with hundreds of penguins around)'' <br /> '''Dolph:''' Those are [[penguin]]s. <br />'''Captain Bart Christian:''' Look on the bright side. We'll be credited for discovering the [[North Pole]]. <br /> '''Kearney:''' [[South Pole|''South'' Pole]]. <br /> '''Captain Bart Christian:''' Boy, do I suck. <br /> '''Dolph:''' Yeah you do. |
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| + | Homer’s story takes place on the [[wikipedia:Ocean liner|luxury liner]] S.S. ''Neptune'' on New Year’s Eve during the 1970s. At midnight, [[Montgomery Burns|Captain Burns]] fails to notice a massive [[wikipedia:Freak wave|freak wave]] which hits the bridge and kills him and First Officer [[Waylon Smithers]] and the ship capsizes. Led by [[Selma Bouvier|Selma]], survivors Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Lenny, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Old Jewish Man and his wife, and Sideshow Mel ignore [[wikipedia:Purser|Purser]] Wiggum’s advice to stay put in the ballroom and decide to climb up the decks to the [[wikipedia:Engine room|engine room]]. While climbing up through the smokestack, Lenny panics and takes a dive. |
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| − | ===The Neptune Adventure=== |
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| − | *'''Lisa:''' I'm starting to think the Sea Captain isn't coming back. <br /> '''Bart (looking out a window):''' He's out there playing [[basketball]]. <br /> ''(camera shows the Sea Captain playing basketball with three employees)'' <br /> '''Sea Captain (slam-dunks):''' Yes! In yar face, Julio! ''(notices the Simpsons looking at him)'' I'll be getting your food in a moment. ''(to employee)'' Six more games. <br /> '''Homer:''' Time for ''my'' tale of moist adventure! It takes place in a dark time for mankind when madness and ignorance ruled—the 1970's! |
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| − | *'''[[Disco Stu]] (aboard the ''S.S. Neptune''):''' Disco Stu has some troubling news! ''(everyone looks scared)'' The ship's doctor has reported an outbreak of...[[disco|Disco Fever]]! The only cure is to [[Get Down Tonight|do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight]]! <br /> '''Lenny (with a notepad and pencil):''' Wait, what was the second one?<br />'''Disco Stu:''' And now, please welcome the [[Leroy Neiman]] of seamen, your captain, Montgomery Burns! <br /> '''Lenny:''' Ten-four, good buddy! <br /> '''Carl:''' I'm [[Chevy Chase]] and you're not! <br /> '''Barney:''' [[Willie Stargell]]! <br /> '''Captain [[Montgomery Burns]]:''' Yes. Welcome to the maiden voyage of the ''Neptune'', the world's most ''unflippable'' ''(winks)'' luxury liner. Help yourself to some pineapple ''upside-down'' cake and apple ''turnovers''. And you will all be getting free hats, so be sure to give us your ''cap size''! |
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| − | * ''(while at the ship's wheel, Captain Burns and First Officer [[Waylon Smithers]] fail to notice the approaching freak wave)'' <br /> '''Captain Burns:''' I love the sea, Smithers! There are no [[Earthquake (film)|earthquakes]], [[The Towering Inferno|towering infernos]], [[The China Syndrome|China syndromes]], [[The Apple Dumpling Gang (film)|appling dumpling gangs]]... <br /> ''(the wave hits the ''Neptune''. Burns and Smithers drown as the bridge fills with water)'' |
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| − | *''(as the ship capsizes, Homer's hair falls off)'' <br /> '''Homer:''' ''(screams)'' My wig! I mean, my natural hair! |
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| − | *'''Krusty (after the ship capsizes, he sees a pair of legs on his chest):''' Hey, you schmock, get off of me! ''(the camera pulls out, showing that the legs are his and his torso is severed)'' Going out with a sight gag. Nice. ''(dies)'' |
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| − | *'''Selma:''' Attention everyone! I've spent the entire cruise reading these maintenance brochures because as a lonely single woman, I had nothing better to do.<br /> '''Male survivors (Barney, Lenny, Carl, Jeff, Sideshow Mel, and 3 other guys):''' Aww...<br /> '''Selma:''' "Aw"s are cheap. I lookin' for some action.<br> '''Male survivors:''' ''(nonchalant whistling and looking in different directions)''<br />'''Selma:''' That's what I thought. It says here that we gotta climb upwards towards the hull before the ocean starts filling the ship. <br /> '''Chief Purser Clancy Wiggum:''' Don't listen to her! She'll get us all killed! The safest thing to do is to resume our normal activities. Now where's the [[rumba]] instructor? ''(sees the instructor's legs sticking out of the mouth of a [[great white shark]])'' Okay, so that's left, left, right. Come on, people. ''(begins dancing, humming rumba music)'' |
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| − | *'''Homer (emerging from the wreck):''' Oh my God! Our boat is upside-down! <br /> ''(the Bounty appears out of a thick fog and the crew becomes skeletons)'' <br /> '''Bart-bossa:''' You guys know the way to Tahiti? <br /> '''Dolph:''' Way to go, genius! You sailed into someone else's tale of the sea! <br /> '''Bart-bossa:''' At least I'm not gay for skeleton Kearney. <br /> '''Kearney:''' Our ribs got tangled seventy-five years ago! That's not gay! <br /> '''Bart-bossa:''' Right, you keep believing that. |
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| ⚫ | They encounter rooms in flame, tigers, and Homer doing his business in an upside-down bathroom, knowing that he has great "ass-suction". Comic Book Guy swims through a flooded deck to help the others get to the engine room, but he has a heart attack and dies. The group makes it to the engine room, but Sideshow Mel’s hair is set on fire because of a blowtorch from the rescue team and he falls unconscious. The rest of the original group makes it off the ship, at which point they encounter the walking skeletons of the ''Bounty'' crew who are still trying to get back to Tahiti. |
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| − | ==Goofs== |
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| − | *Marge is [[allergy|allergic]] to fish and probably shouldn't be in The Frying Dutchman. Even if she doesn't eat anything, inhaling [[fish]] particles in the air and on the [[table (furniture)|table]]s or [[dishware|dish]]es might make her very ill. |
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| − | ==Broadcasting Information== |
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| − | '''[[United States|USA]]/[[Canada]]''' |
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| − | *'''1st Airdate:''' Sunday, [[April 23]], [[2006]] |
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| − | *'''2nd Airdate:''' Sunday, [[June 18]], [[2006]] |
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| − | '''[[United Kingdom|UK]]''' |
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| − | *'''1st Airdate:''' Sunday, [[July 2]], [[2006]] |
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| − | *'''2nd Airdate:''' Tuesday, [[August 8]], [[2006]] |
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| − | *'''3rd Airdate:''' Wednesday, [[August 30]], [[2006]] |
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| − | '''[[Australia]]''' |
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| − | *'''1st Airdate:''' Tuesday, [[August 8]], [[2006]] |
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| + | == Citations == |
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| ⚫ | |||
| + | {{Reflist}} |
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{{DEFAULTSORT:Wettest Stories Ever Told, The}} |
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wettest Stories Ever Told, The}} |
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| + | [[fr:Histoires d'eau]] |
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| + | [[pl:The Wettest Stories Ever Told]] |
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| + | [[pt:As Histórias Mais Molhadas da História]] |
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[[Category:Episodes]] |
[[Category:Episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Trilogy Episodes]] |
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| ⚫ | |||
| + | [[Category:Episodes featuring guest stars]] |
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| + | [[Category:Sideshow Mel episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Homer episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Marge episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Bart episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Lisa episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Kids episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Principal Skinner episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Food-themed Episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Ned Flanders Episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Reverend Lovejoy Episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Comic Book Guy Episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Groundskeeper Willie Episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Patty and Selma Episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Mr. Burns Episodes]] |
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| + | [[Category:Episodes on DVD]] |
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| + | [[Category:Written by Jeff Westbrook]] |
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| + | [[Category:Directed by Mike B. Anderson]] |
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| + | [[Category:Episodes where Homer chokes Bart]] |
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Revision as of 10:17, 22 August 2020
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The Wettest Stories Ever Told |
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This episode is considered non-canon, and the events featured are not part of the timeline of the series' continuity. |
- “Perhaps an old sea yarn might pass the time. Too bad I don't know any.”
- ―The Sea Captain
The Wettest Stories Ever Told is the eighteenth episode of The Simpsons' seventeenth season. This is one of several Simpsons episodes which are considered anthology episodes that features mini-stories.
Synopsis
When dinner at the Frying Dutchman takes a little longer than expected to cook, thanks to an uncooperative octopus armed with knives, and the Sea Captain doesn't know any sea tales, the Simpsons take up the slack by telling stories of three famous ships; Lisa with the Mayflower, Bart with the Bounty, and Homer with a ship that sounds an awful lot like the Posiedon (and is even named for a god of the sea, albeit the Roman one).
Full Story
When the Simpsons' plans for a nice family outing at The Frying Dutchman turns into a dining disaster (due to an uncooperative octopus armed with knives), the family tries to salvage the night by turning the episode into yet another Simpsons anthology show (in the same vein as Tales from the Public Domain, Margical History Tour and Simpson Christmas Stories)---but with a nautical theme.
Mayflower Madman (Lisa's story)
Marge (who's a widow) and her two children, Bart and Lisa, board the Mayflower to head for the new world, but just as they do, Homer runs ahead of them and hides in a barrel. Marge, Bart and Lisa see that he's wanted by the police (Lenny Leonard and Carl Carlson) for questioning on why the current time period is called the Jacobean era when the King's name is James rather than Jacob, and the family takes pity on him. Marge and Homer start to like each other, but Moe, who also likes Marge, instantly becomes jealous of their friendship. To get Homer out of the way, Moe takes him down to the storage room where all the beer is held and tells him to drink whenever a wave hits the boat. He gets drunk, and Captain Flandish and Reverend Lovejoy find him and other passengers partying.
Moe blames Homer, and they place him in a stock. A storm then approaches, and Captain Flandish becomes unconscious. Homer claims that he's actually a good driver when he's drunk (claiming that he's been driving drunk since he was just twelve), and while drinking a bottle of wine while still trapped in the stock and shirtless, he leads them safely out of the storm, and he and Marge become an official couple. All members of the Mayflower meet the Wampanoag tribe, and Flandish thanks Great Chief Wig-Gum for all he has done for them, as he regrets for what they are going to do to them. Wiggum then asks what that is, and Flandish replies it is giving him the biggest piece pumpkin pie, and mumbles that they are going to take their land and wipe them out.
The Whine-Bar Sea (Bart's story)
The Bounty sets sail from England in 1789, commanded by Captain Bligh. During the first 718 days of the voyage, Bligh severely mistreats his crew, such as by not giving them water at last day in order to save water and tossing off their mail because they had drawn a picture of Bligh making out with a merman. Willie warns him of a mutiny if he mistreats them too much, but Bligh ignores him. They arrive in Tahiti, where Homer and Marge are the rulers of island and the crew has a wonderful time until it was time to leave. The crew wanted to stay at Tahiti, but Captain Bligh tells them that it was wonderful vacation but they must forget it and sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in-a-round while working.
Eventually, Bligh continues abusing the crew more as they sing, and First Mate Bart Christian, who had enough of this, leads a mutiny with the help of the crew and sends Bligh and Willie off in a lifeboat. Willie then berates Bligh for not listening to him in the first place, but that only makes Bligh more angry at Willie, challenging him as too much of a spineless coward to mutiny. In response, Willie forces Bligh off the lifeboat (proving that he is not a coward) and rows away while Bligh holds onto on a sea turtle, who then submerges into the sea, with Skinner in tow after the latter taunts it. Bart, as the new Captain of the Bounty, orders the crews to set sail for Tahiti. Then he throws away the ship’s helm and they crash into Antarctica.
"Watership D'ohn"/"The Neptune Adventure" (Homer's story)
Homer’s story takes place on the luxury liner S.S. Neptune on New Year’s Eve during the 1970s. At midnight, Captain Burns fails to notice a massive freak wave which hits the bridge and kills him and First Officer Waylon Smithers and the ship capsizes. Led by Selma, survivors Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Lenny, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Old Jewish Man and his wife, and Sideshow Mel ignore Purser Wiggum’s advice to stay put in the ballroom and decide to climb up the decks to the engine room. While climbing up through the smokestack, Lenny panics and takes a dive.
They encounter rooms in flame, tigers, and Homer doing his business in an upside-down bathroom, knowing that he has great "ass-suction". Comic Book Guy swims through a flooded deck to help the others get to the engine room, but he has a heart attack and dies. The group makes it to the engine room, but Sideshow Mel’s hair is set on fire because of a blowtorch from the rescue team and he falls unconscious. The rest of the original group makes it off the ship, at which point they encounter the walking skeletons of the Bounty crew who are still trying to get back to Tahiti.