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{{Tab|Quo |
{{Tab|Quo |
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| − | |episode = The Ziff Who Came to Dinner |
+ | |episode = The Ziff Who Came to Dinner}} |
| − | }} |
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{{PrevNext|Quo |Smart and Smarter|Co-Dependent's Day}} |
{{PrevNext|Quo |Smart and Smarter|Co-Dependent's Day}} |
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| − | :'''[[Artie Ziff|Artie]] |
+ | :'''[[Artie Ziff|Artie]]''': Doesn't your father ever read to you? |
| − | :'''[[Lisa]] |
+ | :'''[[Lisa]]''': He tried once, but he got confused and thought the book was real. He's still searching for that chocolate factory. It consumes him. |
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:'''[[Groundskeeper Willie]]''': I lost all my "screw you" money! |
:'''[[Groundskeeper Willie]]''': I lost all my "screw you" money! |
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:'''Lisa''': Mom, Dad, I love you. Maggie, you can have my books. And Bart, I'll see you in hell, you booger-eating wuss! That's right, we all know! |
:'''Lisa''': Mom, Dad, I love you. Maggie, you can have my books. And Bart, I'll see you in hell, you booger-eating wuss! That's right, we all know! |
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| − | :'''[[Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': (to Artie) |
+ | :'''[[Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': (to Artie) You only care about yourself. |
:'''Artie''': Don't be ridiculous. I care about more than just ''moi.'' |
:'''Artie''': Don't be ridiculous. I care about more than just ''moi.'' |
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:(In Artie's daydream) |
:(In Artie's daydream) |
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:'''Artie''': Oh, dear God. She's right. |
:'''Artie''': Oh, dear God. She's right. |
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| − | :'''Guard''' (to Homer) |
+ | :'''Guard''': (to Homer) Sorry you were wrongfully imprisoned, Simpson. |
| − | :'''[[Homer Simpson|Homer]] |
+ | :'''[[Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': Can I apply my time toward a future crime? |
:'''Guard''': You can either steal a car or kick me in the crotch. (Homer kicks him in the crotch) Uhhh, no one ever picks the car. |
:'''Guard''': You can either steal a car or kick me in the crotch. (Homer kicks him in the crotch) Uhhh, no one ever picks the car. |
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:'''Homer''': Don't tell my kids I'm going to jail! Tell them I joined the Blue Man Group! I'm the fat one! |
:'''Homer''': Don't tell my kids I'm going to jail! Tell them I joined the Blue Man Group! I'm the fat one! |
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| − | (The Not So Final Fate of Artie Ziff) |
+ | :(The Not So Final Fate of Artie Ziff) |
| − | :'''Marge''': Artie Ziff? |
+ | :'''Marge''': Artie Ziff? |
:'''Homer''': I thought we killed him! |
:'''Homer''': I thought we killed him! |
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:'''Marge''': No, we didn't. |
:'''Marge''': No, we didn't. |
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| Line 38: | Line 37: | ||
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:''(Homer gets out of jail)'' |
:''(Homer gets out of jail)'' |
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| − | :'''Lisa''': Oh, dad ''(Hugs him) |
+ | :'''Lisa''': Oh, dad ''(Hugs him)'' I missed you so much! |
:'''Homer''': ''(Surprised)'' Oh my God! Maggie you're talking! |
:'''Homer''': ''(Surprised)'' Oh my God! Maggie you're talking! |
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:'''Ziff''': Homer, I believe that's Lisa. |
:'''Ziff''': Homer, I believe that's Lisa. |
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:'''Homer''': ''(To Ziff)'' Oh Bart, what a man you become! |
:'''Homer''': ''(To Ziff)'' Oh Bart, what a man you become! |
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{{Season|15|Quo}} |
{{Season|15|Quo}} |
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[[Category:Quotes]] |
[[Category:Quotes]] |
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Revision as of 18:18, 1 September 2018
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The Ziff Who Came to Dinner |
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- Artie: Doesn't your father ever read to you?
- Lisa: He tried once, but he got confused and thought the book was real. He's still searching for that chocolate factory. It consumes him.
- Groundskeeper Willie: I lost all my "screw you" money!
- Principal Skinner: I'm very sorry to hear that, Willie.
- Groundskeeper Willie: Screw you!
- Lisa: Mom, Dad, I love you. Maggie, you can have my books. And Bart, I'll see you in hell, you booger-eating wuss! That's right, we all know!
- Marge: (to Artie) You only care about yourself.
- Artie: Don't be ridiculous. I care about more than just moi.
- (In Artie's daydream)
- Artie look-alike can-can dancers: Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie!
- Artie look-alike audience members: Ziff! Ziff! Ziff! Ziff! Ziff! Ziff! Ziff!
- (The dancers clap and laugh and the daydream ends)
- Artie: Oh, dear God. She's right.
- Guard: (to Homer) Sorry you were wrongfully imprisoned, Simpson.
- Homer: Can I apply my time toward a future crime?
- Guard: You can either steal a car or kick me in the crotch. (Homer kicks him in the crotch) Uhhh, no one ever picks the car.
- Homer: Don't tell my kids I'm going to jail! Tell them I joined the Blue Man Group! I'm the fat one!
- (The Not So Final Fate of Artie Ziff)
- Marge: Artie Ziff?
- Homer: I thought we killed him!
- Marge: No, we didn't.
- Homer: But I did delete him from my bulk e-mail list!
- Marge: No, you didn't.
- Artie: That's right. Twice a week, I get your e-mail of the monkey peeing in his own mouth.
- Homer: Oh yeah. Heh heh. That monkey got America through some tough times.
- (Homer gets out of jail)
- Lisa: Oh, dad (Hugs him) I missed you so much!
- Homer: (Surprised) Oh my God! Maggie you're talking!
- Ziff: Homer, I believe that's Lisa.
- Homer: (To Ziff) Oh Bart, what a man you become!