Homer's Odyssey
There's No Disgrace Like Home
Bart the General
Marge: I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think there's a little al-key-hol in this punch.

Mr. Burns: [Seeing a son kiss his father on the cheek] Ahh. That's the kind of family unity I like to see. Smithers, get that man's name. I predict big things for him down at the power plant.
Homer: Quick, Bart, give me a kiss.
Bart: Kiss you? But, Dad, I'm your kid!
Homer: Bart, please. Five bucks for a kiss.

Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.
Marge: Well, maybe we should move to a larger community.

(The Simpsons peer through a dining room window, watching another family happily eating dinner together.)

Homer: Look at that, kids! No fighting, no yelling.
Bart: No belching.
Lisa: That dad has a shirt on!
Marge: Look, napkins!
Bart: These people are obviously freaks.

Homer: [saying grace] You're everywhere, you're omnivorous.

[The Simpsons watch a family converse.]
Boy: Papa, I think I heard some rusting in the bushes!
Grandfather: I did, too. Better get the gun.
[The boy walks into another room.]
Lisa: Where's he going?
Homer: Probably to get the old man his pipe and slippers.
[The grandfather cocks and fires his gun]
The Simpsons: [running away] Aaaagghh!

[The Simpsons approach a house. Bart and Homer are unaware that it's theirs.]
Bart: Whoa, look at this place! What a dump!
Homer: It's worse than you think. [laughs] I just trampled this poor sap's flowerbed.
Marge: Homer, this is our house!
Homer: Augh!

Barney: You got crummy little kids that nobody can control.
Homer: You can't talk that way about my kids...or at least two of them.
Barney: Why? You got two I haven't met?
Homer: Why you! [punches Barney] Here's five you haven't met!

Father: You better shut your big yap!
Mother: No, you shut up!
Father: No, you shut up!
Mother: No, you shut up!
Father: Oh, shut up!
Mother: You shut up!
Father: Shut up!
Mother: Shut up!
Son: Why don't you both shut up?!

Homer: The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!

[Homer flaunts his $250 to the receptionist]
Bart: If you really wanna impress her, show her the big, empty space where our TV used to be.
Homer: Bart!

Marvin Monroe: Hello, I'm Dr. Marvin Monroe. No doubt you'll recognize me from TV.
Lisa: We would if we had one.
Homer: Lisa!

Marvin: [to Homer] If you had been paying attention, perhaps you would have noticed that your family sees you as a rather stern authority figure, an ogre, if you will.
Marge: Now, doctor, that's not true.
Lisa: Ogre is such a strong word.
Bart: Right on, doc! Another successful diagnosis!
Homer: [preparing to strike Bart with a lamp] That does it!

[After Bart shocks Homer, Homer does so to him, and Bart then shocks Lisa.]
Marge: Bart, how could you shock your little sister?
Bart: My finger slipped. [gets shocked by Lisa]
Lisa: So did mine!
[Bart shocks Lisa again, and she retaliates.]
Marge: Bart, Lisa, stop that! [She electrocutes them both, and the five begin shocking each other as Marvin tries fruitlessly to intervene. Soon, the constant electrocutions cause rolling blackouts all over town.]
Smithers: Boy, someone's really gobbling up the juice, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent, excellent! Perhaps this energy conservation fad is as dead as the dodo.

Mr. Burns: This must be, uh, Brat.
Bart: Bart.
Homer: Don't correct the man, Brat.
Shorts: Season 3 Season 1 Quotes Season 2
Simpsons Roasting on an Open FireBart the GeniusHomer's OdysseyThere's No Disgrace Like HomeBart the GeneralMoaning LisaThe Call of the SimpsonsThe Telltale HeadLife on the Fast LaneHomer's Night OutThe Crepes of WrathKrusty Gets BustedSome Enchanted Evening
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