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There's No Disgrace Like Home |
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- Marge: I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think there's a li'l al-key-hol in this punch.
- Mr. Burns: [Seeing a son kiss his father on the cheek] Awww... That's the kind of family unity I like to see. Smithers, get that man's name. I predict big things for him down at the power plant.
- Homer: Quick, Bart, give me a kiss.
- Bart: Kiss you? But, Dad, I'm your kid!
- Homer: Bart, please. Five bucks for a kiss.
- Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.
- Marge: Well maybe we should move to a larger community.
- Homer: D'oh!
- Homer: When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
- [The Simpsons peer through a dining room window, watching another family happily eating dinner together.]
- Homer: Look at that, kids! No fighting, no yelling.
- Bart: No belching.
- Lisa: That dad has a shirt on!
- Marge: Look, napkins!
- Bart: These people are obviously freaks.
- Homer: I've murdered us all (i've murdered us all), Shut Up! (shut up, shut up) Doh'! (do'h)
Template:Season 1