||There's No Disgrace Like Home
- Marge: I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think there's a little al-key-hol in this punch.
- Mr. Burns: [Seeing a son kiss his father on the cheek] Ahh. That's the kind of family unity I like to see. Smithers, get that man's name. I predict big things for him down at the power plant.
- Homer: Quick, Bart, give me a kiss.
- Bart: Kiss you? But, Dad, I'm your kid!
- Homer: Bart, please. Five bucks for a kiss.
- Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.
- Marge: Well, maybe we should move to a larger community.
(The Simpsons peer through a dining room window, watching another family happily eating dinner together.)
- Homer: Look at that, kids! No fighting, no yelling.
- Bart: No belching.
- Lisa: That dad has a shirt on!
- Marge: Look, napkins!
- Bart: These people are obviously freaks.