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This Little Wiggy |
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- Ms. Krabappel: Now, whose calculator can tell me what seven times eight is?
- Milhouse: Ooh, ooh! Low battery?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Whatever.
- Ralph: Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours.
- Troy McClure: Welcome to the Springfield Knowledgeum. I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?" While you're enjoying our hall of wonders, your car will be unfortunately be subject to repeated (his voice fades out)
- Homer: What'd he say? What about my car?
- Ralph: I found a moon rock in my nose.
- Bart: Houston, we have a booger.
- Marge: Hello, Ralph! (kneels down to his level) When I was little, I used to play by myself too.
- Ralph: Your hair is tall, and pretty!
- Marge: Well, thank you, Ralph! You're such a fine young gentleman. (puts her hand on his shoulder)
- Ralph: (recoiling) Help! She's touching my special area!
- Security Guard: (after Bart and Ralph escape from the prison) Why do I always shout first? Just gives them a chance to run away. Well, I'm an idiot.
- Lisa: What a whimsical building. Who says science can't be fun?
- Bart: Me. I smell a museum.
- Homer: Yeah, good things don't end with -eum, they end with -mania, or teria.
- Ralph: (while giving Bart a tour of his backyard) This is my swing set. This is my sandbox! I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. That's where I saw the leprechaun.
- Bart: Right a leprechaun.
- Ralph: He told me to burn things.
- Bart: Uh huh.
- Bart: Come on, Ralph! Your dad's a cop! There must be some cool stuff around here. Bullets, dead body photos, what have you.
- Ralph: He keeps that stuff in his closet, but he says I'm not allowed in there.
- Bart: Did he say I'm not allowed in there?
- Ralph: Yes.
- Bart: Well, I'm going in anyway.
- Bart: Wow, Dad's been in jail six times! Aw, Mom's only been in twice.
- Ralph: (emerging from a bush) Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch!
- Homer: (excited) Then me and my friend were about to press it, but the man said not to press it, but we pressed it anyway! And we ran and we hid in this giant tire, we had… and my other friend was already there.
- Marge: All right, all right, now, you're over stimulated. Let's get some beer in you and then it's right to bed.
- 'Homer: Woo hoo! (running around) Beer, beer, beer, bed, bed, bed!
- Bart: (in the abandoned prison) Wow, look at all those toilets! And just inches from your bed! Talk about luxury!
- Leprechaun: (to Ralph) You've done grand, laddie! Now you know what you have to do! Burn the house down! Burn 'em all!