Kent Brockman: Welcome to the Montgomery Burns Prize, rewarding excellence, in the field of alternative energy. Local inventors are vying for a million dollar stipend donated by C. Montgomery Burns, as part of a court settlement for causing one billion dollars of environmental damage.
Mr. Burns: Shoo. Go have one of your enormous litters.
Herman: (after losing his arm) When God closes a door, he opens a Gun shop!
Grandpa: Your father was devastated. (Lisa and Marge cry) Huh. Women and their crying!
Bart: (Sobbing) Finish the damn story! I've got a hockey game tonight!
Grandpa: (sniffs) All these years I thought you loved that dog more than me!
Homer: (sobs) Why would you think that? (sniffs) Just because I put you in a home where they feed you dog food?
Grandpa': (sniffs) Aw! Give me a hug, son.
Homer: (nervously) Okay, but I'm a little out of practice.
Grandpa: Hold your arms like you're carrying a wedding cake.
Homer: What flavor?
Grandpa: It doesn't matter!
Homer: If it doesn't matter then I call Snickers!
Grandpa: (grunts) That's not a flavor!
Homer: Everything's a flavor in the kitchens of today!