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Treehouse of Horror XV
All's Fair in Oven War


Bart: Am I the only one who is in horrible pain?
Homer: You're the only one who won't shut up about it!

The Ned Zone

Ned: Homer, do not press the core destruct button!
Transmitted into the booth: Homer, (Static) press (Static) Destruct button!
Homer: Okay.
Ned: Don't do it! You'll kill everyone!
Transmitted: (Static) Do it! (Static) Kill everyone!

Ned: Homer, please, don't tempt the gods... er, I mean God! There's one God! Only one! Well, sometimes there's three.

(Ned shoots Homer)
Ned: Homer! Fall backward! (Homer walks backwards and dies outside the button)
Ned: Phew!
(Homer turns on to his back and dies)
Ned: Phew!
(Homer's tongue comes out and hits the button)
Ned: Oh, you stupid son of a…… (town explodes)

Lisa: If you must kill our dad, remember the family motto: not in the face.

Ned: I had a vision of myself... shooting your father.
Bart: In this neighborhood, who hasn't?

Ned: Homer, stay away from the nuclear plant.
Homer: Fine, I'll never go back… starting tomorrow. Today is Lenny's birthday and they're having ice cream cake.
Ned: B-B-B-But you'll kill us all!
Homer: But ice cream cake!
(Homer drives off)

Ned: I gotta find Homer! He's gonna blow up the whole town!
Carl: Yeah, well, you know. You've gotta take the bitter with the sweet.

Four Beheadings and a Funeral

Chief Wiggum: (sighs) Looks like the Mutton-Chop Murderer has struck again.
Lou: What should we do with the body?
Wiggum: I want you to dust her for prints.
Eddie: What does that mean?
Wiggum: The prince is coming by and I want her clean when he looks her over. (Eliza enters the room)
Eliza: Perhaps we can be of assistant, Inspector.
Wiggum: Well well well, look who is here! Master detective Eliza Simpson and her easily amazed sidekick: Dr. Bartley.
Bartley: (gasps) What's this? A doorknob! Good show!

Otto: (throw by Homer) Opium Rules!

Lord Mayor Quimby: This week in our Summer Hanging Series we're pleased to present the Muttonchop Murderer! At last God-fearing Londoners are free to walk Whore Alley. (Chief Wiggum prepares to push the switch to hang him, but Eliza prevents him)
Eliza: Stay your hand, Inspector. That man is innocent! The murderer's blade is covered with blood, but the handle is covered with something else: the unmistakable fragrance of (points the sword to Wiggum, who is eating an Eel Pie) eel pie.
Wiggum: Eh, Lots of people like Eel Pie!
Lou: Yeah? Well, how many of them have muttonchops? (Takes off his hat, revealing his muttonchops)
Wiggum: Why can't you be more like Eddie? He never says a word against me.
Lou: That's because you cut his tongue.
Eddie: (His speech is different due to a lack of a tongue) He's right, chief.

In the Belly of the Boss

Lisa: Dad, would you like some of my Snickers bar cheesecake?
Mr. Burns: Oh, I feel full enough as it is.
Homer: (inside Burns) I say when we're full! You don't wanna piss off a man who can kick you in the crotch from the inside!

Season 15 Season 16 Quotes Season 17
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