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Treehouse of Horror XVIII |
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Treehouse of Horror XVIII |
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- Marge: Hello. Remember Halloween? It was last week. But here at the Simpson house, we're still celebrating. Tonight, we have three terrifying tales of the... Excuse me. Now, our first gory story is... Oh, are you kidding me?
- Football Player: No fair.
- Marge: Can't anyone just watch the show they're watching? Dinner is served.
- Homer: Mmm. Developed by.
- Homer: Creme Brulee! Creme Brulee! Creme Brulee! Or in English: Burnt Cream! Burnt Cream! Burnt Cream!
- Bart: What is that unearthly glow? The only sensible thing to do is to explore on my own.
- Kodos: My friends and I come in peace to find your vulnerabilities... and cure them with more peace.
- Bart: Is that a ray gun?
- Kodos: No! It's a... deodorant applicator. I'll just (accidentally shoots himself, yells in pain, mutters). Smells like a summer breeze.
- Kodos: I just hope those scientists leave me my mouth so I can spread peace in song. (sings) Peeeaace! Peace, peace, peace from space.
- Bart: They've come for-What's your name?
- Kodos: Kodos the Destroyer.
- Bart: Huh?
- (Approach armed men.)
- Bart: We could fly over them with the power of love, right?
- Kodos: Hmmm. We could. Or... (Shoots them)
- Bart: You killed them!
- Kodos: Well done, Columbo! That's right, we watch Columbo. They air it during rainouts of kleep-klop games.
- Homer: Come on! We get to kill one!
- (Bart about to shoot Kodos)
- Kodos: Bart... friend?
- (Homer pushes Bart away)
- Homer: It's Homer... bitch!
- (Homer shoots Kodos)
- Homer: Come on, you guys! We'll miss the dissection!
- Kodos: Actually, I'm still alive, so technically it's vivisection.
- Homer: Nobody wants a know it all.
- (Homer covers Kodos's mouth with a pillow)
- Mr. Burns: Greetings 241.
- Homer: Why does he always mention my weight?
- Marge: You're a killer for hire!
- Homer: You ruined that pie!
- Homer: (thinking) It's poison, whatever you do don't eat it.
- (Homer eats it)
- Homer: (thinking) Okay you ate it but don't finish it.
- (Homer finishes it.)
- Homer: (thinking) Okay but don't ask for...
- Homer: Seconds please.
- Homer: (thinking) You moron just kill her.
- Homer: I'll kill her after dessert!
- Chief Wiggum: (after being shot by a crossbow) I would have taken a bribe.
- Marge: I get $2,000 a hit, how much do you get?
- Homer: I just get to keep whatever is in the guy's wallet.
- Marge: All of those nights you were out getting drunk, you were out killing people.
- Homer: I was out getting drunk, then killing people!
- Marge: Great, now they would have tummyaches tomorrow, and where will superdad be then?
- Homer: (holds up a crossbow at Marge) At your funeral.
- Homer: Hey, now I don't get paid.
- Marge: Homer, I made some of my killer lasagna.
- Homer: (after the mystery skank throws a shuriken in his gun) Now I'm angry.
- (Then he gets one in his head)
- Homer: Now I'm...(starts speaking gibberish)
- Dolph Cerberus: Stop licking my junk!
- Kearney Cerberus: (looks up from licking balls) It's my junk too!
- Homer: (morphs into spaghetti and eyeballs at meatballs) More Bread Please.
- Homer: (realizing the gluttony sin was a typo) I thought I was killed by that magic spaghetti!
- Bart：Trick-or-Treat, lick my feet. Your head smells like pig-butt meat!
- Marge: Hello, remember Halloween? It was last week but here at the Simpsons house we're still celebrating tonight we have three terrifying tales (sees American Idol icon) of-- excuse me. (sucks it up) Now our first glory story is (sees the FOX sports icon) Oh, are you kidding me? (grabs out a bug spray and sprays the icon and the players, killing them)
- (Other icons like House, 24, Cops and Prison Break show up in front of her)
- Marge: Can't anyone just watch the show they're watching?
- Ned Flanders: That concludes our Halloween show for this year. I just want to say that for watching this network you're all going to hell and that includes FX, Foxsports, and our newest devil's portal, The Wall Street Journal. Welcome to the club!