Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts
Treehouse of Horror XXII
Replaceable You
Treehouse of Horror XXI
Treehouse of Horror XXII
Treehouse of Horror XXIII


Marge: (to Bart, Lisa and Maggie) Fee-fi-fo-fum, give me all your candy and gum!
Bart: Who are you and why do you want our candy?
Homer: Your mother is the switch witch! A sort of tooth fairy dealie.
Marge: I take your sugary sweets and I give you healthy items! Plain brown toothbrushes, (puts a toothbrush in Lisa's bag) unflavored dental floss, (puts a box of dental floss in Maggie's bag) and fun-sized mouthwashes! (puts a mouthwasher bottle in Bart's bag) TSA approved!
Bart: This is exactly why kids need a union.

The Diving Bell and the Butterball

Homer: Ok. I'm the floor. I can't move. So far, a normal Sunday morning...

Homer: Halloween: the one time of the year where the squalor of our home works to our advantage.

Homer: For further communication, I will require more beans.

Chief Wiggum: They say no two ass webs are the same.

Dial D for Diddily

Ned Flanders: Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees.

Ned: (narrating, watching Mr. Burns dump nuclear waste at a lake) All these years, I thought murder was a sin. Then, I got new instructions from the good Lord himself in his favorite language: English.
God: Slay Montgomery Burns and pee in his ashes!
Ned: Are you sure, Lord?
God: If you're having trouble with the second part, drink a lot of water. Now I've got to go! A hip-hop star is thanking me at the VMAs.

Homer: (on a microphone, pretending to be God) Okay, stupid Flanders. First, I want you to kill that guy at the ice cream parlor who gave Homer Simpson a cone that had a little air in it.
Ned: (on the radio, sighs) Really?
Homer: Come on! God does crazy things! Check your Old Testament! (Bart enters the room)
Bart: Hey, dad.
Homer: Hey, Bart! Uh, I mean, Jesus. (covers up the microphone) Hey, son. You want Flanders to kill anybody? He's totally in my power!
Bart: Well, there's a tall boy in front of me in class so I can't see the board.
Homer: (on the microphone) And I sayeth unto you, slay every tall boy in town! (Homer and Bart hi-five each other)

Ned: (enters the room) Homer Simpson!
Homer: Aah!
Ned: You made a killer out of me! (shows him a bible with a speaker on the cover)
Homer: Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?
Ned: I'm going to kill you!
Homer: Aah!!
Ned: Because of you, I'm going to Hell!
Homer: Language.
Ned: Hell! Damn! Backside! Nothing matters anymore! I'm goin' down and my hand-basket seats two!
Homer: Wake up, Flanders: there is no Hell. And there is no God! If there were, would he let me do this? (takes out a lighter and burns Ned's Holy Bible)

Real God: (strangles Homer) WHY YOU LITTLE!

In the Na'vi

Chalmers: (to the troops) People, you are on the most inhospitable planet in the galaxy! Extreme temperatures, vicious indigenous life forms! Are there any questions? (Cletus raises his hand) Yes?
Cletus: Are we in Kansas anymore?
Chalmers: No!
Brandine: Well, are we in Nebraska?
Chalmers: No! We are not in any state!
Cletus: Oh... oh... is it Michigan?
Chalmers: Nobody talk anymore!

Lisa: Now prepare to take an incredible journey across the room.

Bart: Traitor! How dare you betray me on me on the planet that got me laid?

Season 22 Season 23 Quotes Season 24
The Falcon and the D'ohmanBart Stops to Smell the RooseveltsTreehouse of Horror XXIIReplaceable YouThe Food WifeThe Book JobThe Man in the Blue Flannel PantsThe Ten-Per-Cent SolutionHolidays of Future PassedPolitically Inept, with Homer SimpsonThe D'oh-cial NetworkMoe Goes from Rags to RichesThe Daughter Also RisesAt Long Last LeaveExit Through the Kwik-E-MartHow I Wet Your MotherThem, RobotBeware My Cheating BartA Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do AgainThe Spy Who Learned MeNed 'N Edna's BlendLisa Goes Gaga
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