Kang: Live from Rigel 7, conquerors of Rigels 4 through 6, it's the 25th annual Treehouse of Horror! With special guest stars Jennifer Lawrence, Warren Beatty, John Travolta, Clint Eastwood, George Clooney, Prince, Taylor Swift, Sean Penn, Bruce Springsteen, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, James Franco, Kanye West, and Leonardo DiCaprio.
School is Hell
(Bart reading rune's translation)
Bart: He who reads this rune translation, will be taken to damnation. (a hand of fire appears out of the desk and takes Bart and Lisa to hell)
(Demon School Girl to Lisa)
Demon School Girl: Red dress. How original.
Lisa: Making fun of someone's clothes. How original.
Demon School Girl: Wow. You wanna walk with us? (snow starts falling in the middle of the hallway)
Lisa: It's true. It would be a cold day in hell when I was popular.
Hellroads Teacher: Psychological torment. Pain plus fear. Oh, can you all feel how much richer that is? You get a pumpkin sticker. (the sticker bites Bart's ear)
Lisa: Bart! I found a portal back to Earth! (shows a map)
Bart: Right here?
Lisa: No-no-no-no! That's Super Hell!
Bart: Hot Stuff? I didn't realize you were that evil.
Hot Stuff: No. I'm being punished for how lame my comics were. (he shows one of his comics, which shows a melted igloo) I melted it. Get it?
A Clockwork Yellow
Moe: (narrating) That was me, when I was a young hoodlink, with me three bestest glugs, Leonard, Carlton and Dum. We was narsty tastards, we were, even though we dressed like Carol Channing's backup dancers. Some days, we'd employ a bit of the bash while having a go at the West End Wiseguys.
West End Wiseguy 1: Oh, stop it! Hey, pally, come on!
West End Wiseguy 2: Eh, what's wrong with you?
West End Wiseguy 3: I was told this would be a verbal debate!
Moe: (continuing narrating) and cap off the night with a little of the ol' in-out. (Stop aside a store and stare at a lady on a corner)
(Homer is washing his face when he sees a blood writing on the mirror)
Blood Message: Help me
Homer: Stupid blood asking me for a favor! (writes "no!!!" on the mirror)
Blood Message: Three exclamations? That's excessive
1987 Homer: Okay, hold still! This is the last picture on the roll.
1987Bart: Isn't it about time you went digital?
1987Homer: Watch your mouth, you little smartass.
1987Lisa: Yeah, Bart.
1987Homer: Nothing's gonna ruin this one. (both the 1987 Simpsons and 2014 Simpsons get in position) Here we go. Here we go. Here we go!
(1987 Homer prepares to appear nice in the photo while 2014 Homer is busy drinking a beer. 1987 Marge looks really impatient while 2014 Marge looks nice. 1987 Bart and 2014 Bart start making faces. 1987 Lisa gets bored and starts reading Sweet Valley High, 2014 Lisa also looks bored but starts reading Fifty Shades of Grade School. Both Maggies look normal. The photo is taken, showing 1987 Homer is strangling 1987 Bart, 1987 Lisa, 1987 Maggie, and 2014 Maggie are making faces, 1987 Marge strangles 2014 Marge with her own red pearls, 2014 Bart is also making faces, 2014 Homer just notices what's happening and doesn't react in time and 2014 Lisa is still reading her book)