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Wanted: Dead, Then Alive
(Bart enters the music room looking for Mr. Largo. A classic violin music plays on the background)
Bart: Mr. Largo? Hmm, something's wrong. That music is in tune...
Sideshow Bob: Hello, Bart!
Bart: Aah! Sideshow Bob!!
Sideshow Bob: 'Twas I who texted you! Using Milhouse's phone. Did you know his wallpaper is American Girl doll?
Sideshow Bob: (Reading "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock") "I should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas." What do Eliot's ragged claws represent?
Student 1: Yeah, um this Website says the claws aren't a metaphor, but, like, an insight to a state of mind. Crushed it!
Student 2: What Website?
Student 3: Forward the link.
Student 4: Text me.
Student 5: Tweet the link.
Student 6: Where is it?
Sideshow Bob: I didn't think the author of Cats could be insulted further. Class dismissed! (Tries to leave, but steps on a rake)
Lisa: Grandpa, everyone in town thinks you're foolish!
Grandpa-san: Who is more foolish: the fool or the fool who thinks the fool a fool?
Bart: What the hell does that mean, Grandpa-san?
Grandpa-san: For centuries, our family has made a daily offering of a special donut to a slumbering underwater sea creature, so that he does not rise and destroy us all. (Bart and Lisa laugh)
Bart: He is foolish!
Lisa: Stop foolish! (laughs and talk to Grandpa-san) Doesn't mean you are not special.
Homerzilla: (takes a step on a dojo) D'oh! Jo!
Krusty the Clown: As a tie-in to this movie, Krustyburgers will be made from only reptile meat! (takes a bite of the hamburger) And don't worry, PETA! we only buy the sick ones!!
Telepaths of Glory
Milhouse: Okay guys. My cellphone is somewhere in that pulsing ooze. Now each grab one ankle while I dive in.
Lisa: We have to be careful, Milhouse. There's no telling what that Stu-- Bart! What are you doing?
Bart: (with a green "beard" made from the ooze) Madam, how do you do?
Lisa: You don't know what that stuff is doing to you!
Bart: Oh, it's just the same junk Dad brings us home from work. (reveals that the ooze is radioactive waste from the nuclear plant) To us Simpsons, this green goop is mother's... (a bubble with the radioactive ooze blows up, throwing them out of the hole)
