Whistler's Father
Treehouse of Horror XXVIII
Grampy Can Ya Hear Me
Treehouse of Horror XXVII
Treehouse of Horror XXVIII
Treehouse of Horror XXIX
Lisa: No one ever wants the apple. They must be afraid there's a razor blade in me.
Bart: [sarcastic] Yeah, THAT'S the reason.

[Homer eats a living chocolate bunny, who screams in pain]
Lisa: Dad! I can't listen to this horror!
Homer: Okay, I'm on it.
[Homer bites the mouth off]
Lisa: Thank you.

Marge: Maggie, sweetie. You should be in bed.
[Maggie is revealed to be possessed by Pazuzu]
Maggie: No one leaves alive!
Marge: Ooooh, her first words!

Dr. Hibbert: Someone's starting their terrible twos.
Maggie: Someone's having an affair with his nurse!
[Bernice looks at him in anger, and Dr. Hibbert quickly takes out a thermometer]
Dr. Hibbert: ... Say. "Ahh!"
Maggie: Aaaahhhh-DULTERER!

Priest: Well, there's only one answer here. Cut her loose!
Homer: Are you sure?
Priest: Well, if you can't trust a Catholic Priest with a child, who can you trust?

Maggie: I am Pazuzu, demon of the Southwest wind.
Lisa: Wait, wait, so, you're not even as powerful as the South wind or the West wind? How lame is that?
Maggie: I used to be very important. Google it!

[Pazuzu possesses Bart]
Pazuzu: Let me out! Let me out! This boy has the darkest soul I've ever seen! It's worse than working for David Schwimmer!
Bart: Yo, Pazuzu, grow me some horns.
[Pazuzu grows Bart some horns]
Homer: Heh, heh. Those aren't horns, those are nubs.
[Bart's horns grow larger and they impale Homer through the nose]
Homer: No, no! Well, at least they'll get me out of jury duty.
[Gilligan cut to Homer in jury duty, with a dismembered horn, still up his nose]
Homer: D'oh!

Lisa: So, anyone wanna pick up litter at the park today? How 'bout you, Maggie?
Marge: She's still got a touch of Pazuzu.

[Lisa finds a secret door]
Lisa: A secret door? We don't have smoke alarms, but we have this?
Homer: [off-screen] Smoke is it's own alarm.

Snowball V: Let's go meet your other family.
Lisa: [gasp] Other family!?
Snowball V: Already, the talking cat isn't the most interesting thing.

[Lisa enters the Coraline world]
Lisa: Wow, for a Halloween show middle segment, this is amazing.

[Lisa jams with the Coraline family]
Lisa: You're all good, but not better than me! I wish I could stay forever.

Homer: Something's missing. Didn't we have a kid between Bart and the baby? Little smarty pants, plays the flute, I think.
Marge: Lisa! She's been gone for days and the police have been no help.
[Clancy Wiggum walks in]
Clancy: Not true. I helped you reassemble that high chair.
[Maggie's high chair falls apart]
Clancy: Damn It!

Lisa: Bart! How'd you find me?
Bart: I had an informant.
[Bart picks up Snowball V]
Lisa: I know. He can talk.
Bart: He can? I just followed him in.
Snowball V: Oh, God. Now I'll have to talk to him.

Homer: Eh, I don't think he's coming back.
Marge: How can you be so calm? I bore both those children.
Homer: Hey, your stories aren't great, but I wouldn't call them boring.

Snowball V: You really did it this time, Homer. You lost your family.
Homer: Wait, you can speak on this side?
Snowball V: Yes, I just don't like to. It makes the dog feel inferior.
[Santa's Little Helper whines]

Homer: Man, am I jealous of you guys. Two weeks in Lima, Ohio, with Patty and Selma, while I'm stuck here, working. It's gunna be lonely. So lonely.
Marge: Well, if you really want us to stay, we-
Homer: [urging the family to leave] We already kissed goodbye and the car heard it.

Homer: Do you have any spaghetti with my balls? Uh, meat balls?

Ned: Are you eating forbidden fruit?
Homer: [disgusted] Fruit? Ugh!

Bart: What's with the gloves?
Homer: Uhhh, I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and I thought I could be more elegant.
Bart: Elegant? With your waistline? I don't think so.

Marge: This is, without question, the worst moment of our entire marriage.
Homer: What about-
Marge: This is worse!
Homer: Opa!

Homer: Maybe deep down, that's why I ate myself. Because I hate myself.

Mario Batali: He wanted to me to pass on these final words. "I've failed as a man, but I've succeeded as an ingredient."
Bart: I call the brain!

Lenny: Homer's the biggest thing in food, since free refills.

Lenny: How did they so much meat out of Homer?
Carl: Well, they mixed in some Barney, Comic Book Guy, and horse.
Lenny: Horse?

Season 28 Season 29 Quotes Season 30
The SerfsonsSpringfield SplendorWhistler's FatherTreehouse of Horror XXVIIIGrampy Can Ya Hear MeThe Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to BeSingin' in the LaneMr. Lisa's OpusGone BoyHaw-Haw LandFrink Gets TestyHomer Is Where the Art Isn't3 Scenes Plus a Tag from a MarriageFears of a ClownNo Good Read Goes UnpunishedKing LeerLisa Gets the BluesForgive and RegretLeft BehindThrow Grampa from the DaneFlanders' Ladder
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