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Treehouse of Horror XXVIII |
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Treehouse of Horror XXVIII |
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- Lisa: No one ever wants the apple. They must be afraid there's a razor blade in me.
- Bart: [sarcastic] Yeah, THAT'S the reason.
- [Homer eats a living chocolate bunny, who screams in pain]
- Lisa: Dad! I can't listen to this horror!
- Homer: Okay, I'm on it.
- [Homer bites the mouth off]
- Lisa: Thank you.
- Marge: Maggie, sweetie. You should be in bed.
- [Maggie is revealed to be possessed by Pazuzu]
- Maggie: No one leaves alive!
- Marge: Ooooh, her first words!
- Dr. Hibbert: Someone's starting their terrible twos.
- Maggie: Someone's having an affair with his nurse!
- [Bernice looks at him in anger, and Dr. Hibbert quickly takes out a thermometer]
- Dr. Hibbert: ... Say. "Ahh!"
- Maggie: Aaaahhhh-DULTERER!
- Priest: Well, there's only one answer here. Cut her loose!
- Homer: Are you sure?
- Priest: Well, if you can't trust a Catholic Priest with a child, who can you trust?
- Maggie: I am Pazuzu, demon of the Southwest wind.
- Lisa: Wait, wait, so, you're not even as powerful as the South wind or the West wind? How lame is that?
- Maggie: I used to be very important. Google it!
- [Pazuzu possesses Bart]
- Pazuzu: Let me out! Let me out! This boy has the darkest soul I've ever seen! It's worse than working for David Schwimmer!
- Bart: Yo, Pazuzu, grow me some horns.
- [Pazuzu grows Bart some horns]
- Homer: Heh, heh. Those aren't horns, those are nubs.
- [Bart's horns grow larger and they impale Homer through the nose]
- Homer: No, no! Well, at least they'll get me out of jury duty.
- [Gilligan cut to Homer in jury duty, with a dismembered horn, still up his nose]
- Homer: D'oh!
- Lisa: So, anyone wanna pick up litter at the park today? How 'bout you, Maggie?
- Marge: She's still got a touch of Pazuzu.
- [Lisa finds a secret door]
- Lisa: A secret door? We don't have smoke alarms, but we have this?
- Homer: [off-screen] Smoke is it's own alarm.
- Snowball V: Let's go meet your other family.
- Lisa: [gasp] Other family!?
- Snowball V: Already, the talking cat isn't the most interesting thing.
- [Lisa enters the Coraline world]
- Lisa: Wow, for a Halloween show middle segment, this is amazing.
- [Lisa jams with the Coraline family]
- Lisa: You're all good, but not better than me! I wish I could stay forever.
- Homer: Something's missing. Didn't we have a kid between Bart and the baby? Little smarty pants, plays the flute, I think.
- Marge: Lisa! She's been gone for days and the police have been no help.
- [Clancy Wiggum walks in]
- Clancy: Not true. I helped you reassemble that high chair.
- [Maggie's high chair falls apart]
- Clancy: Damn It!
- Lisa: Bart! How'd you find me?
- Bart: I had an informant.
- [Bart picks up Snowball V]
- Lisa: I know. He can talk.
- Bart: He can? I just followed him in.
- Snowball V: Oh, God. Now I'll have to talk to him.
- Homer: Eh, I don't think he's coming back.
- Marge: How can you be so calm? I bore both those children.
- Homer: Hey, your stories aren't great, but I wouldn't call them boring.
- Snowball V: You really did it this time, Homer. You lost your family.
- Homer: Wait, you can speak on this side?
- Snowball V: Yes, I just don't like to. It makes the dog feel inferior.
- [Santa's Little Helper whines]
- Homer: Man, am I jealous of you guys. Two weeks in Lima, Ohio, with Patty and Selma, while I'm stuck here, working. It's gunna be lonely. So lonely.
- Marge: Well, if you really want us to stay, we-
- Homer: [urging the family to leave] We already kissed goodbye and the car heard it.
- Homer: Do you have any spaghetti with my balls? Uh, meat balls?
- Ned: Are you eating forbidden fruit?
- Homer: [disgusted] Fruit? Ugh!
- Bart: What's with the gloves?
- Homer: Uhhh, I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and I thought I could be more elegant.
- Bart: Elegant? With your waistline? I don't think so.
- Marge: This is, without question, the worst moment of our entire marriage.
- Homer: What about-
- Marge: This is worse!
- Homer: Opa!
- Homer: Maybe deep down, that's why I ate myself. Because I hate myself.
- Mario Batali: He wanted to me to pass on these final words. "I've failed as a man, but I've succeeded as an ingredient."
- Bart: I call the brain!
- Lenny: Homer's the biggest thing in food, since free refills.
- Lenny: How did they so much meat out of Homer?
- Carl: Well, they mixed in some Barney, Comic Book Guy, and horse.
- Lenny: Horse?