Mayored to the Mob
Viva Ned Flanders
Wild Barts Can't Be Broken
(Homer and Ned run into Gunter, Ernst, and their white lioness with black stripes, Anastasia, who starts roaring)
Homer: Argh! A lion! (Anastasia tries to swipe at them)
(Homer and Ned run into Drederick Tatum)
Ned: Argh! Drederick Tatum!
Drederick: The behavior is, is unconscionable!
(Homer and Ned run into the Moody Blues)
Homer: Argh, it's the Moody Blues!
Graeme Edge: Cold-hearted Homer, ditching his wife, while ancient Ned runs for his life...
Justin Hayward: Chips of red, and blue, and white, but we decide which...
John Lodge: Can the poems, it's arse-whipping time!
Ray Thomas: (pulling out a knife) I want fatty!

Casino Security Guard: Someone dishonoring their marriage vows? Not in Las Vegas!

Homer: What if we switched wives? Would that help?
Flanders: For the last time, NO!

Reverend Lovejoy: And once again, tithing is ten percent off the top, that's gross income, not net. Please people, don't force us to audit.

Marge: You listen to your friends, but you never listen to me.
Homer: Hey, that's great.

Reverend Lovejoy: Now, I'm going to pass this around a second time. Brother Ned, if you'll do the honors...
Homer: I wouldn't do that, Reverend. You see, "Saint Flanders" is as crooked as you or me!
(The people gasp)

(While at the casino demolition)
Mr. Burns: I'm just thinking about my employees. All the card sharks, bottom dealers and schills. Where will they go?
Smithers: They're managing your chain of nursing homes, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent!

Flanders: Of course, I resist all the major urges.
Sideshow Mel: All of them?
Marge: You mean you've never splurged and, say, eaten an entire birthday cake, then blamed it on the dog?
Edna: You've never licked maple syrup off your lover's stomach?
Homer: You've never snuck out of church to break into cars?

Flanders: (about how young he is even though he's 60 years old) Listen, folks. There's no magic formula. I just followed the three C's: clean living, chewing thoroughly and a daily dose of vitamin church.

Homer: Ten dollars? What is this, a car wash for millionaires?

Homer: (about Lance Murdock) He's a daredevil, Ned. He laughs at death.
Flanders: Well, when I want to laugh, I'll take Bob Saget, thank you very much.

Homer: (to Flanders) Blame me, if you must, but don't ever speak ill of the Program. The Program is rock solid! The Program is sound!

Season 9 Season 10 Quotes Season 11
Lard of the DanceThe Wizard of Evergreen TerraceBart the MotherTreehouse of Horror IXWhen You Dish Upon a StarD'oh-in' in the WindLisa Gets an "A"Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"Mayored to the MobViva Ned FlandersWild Barts Can't Be BrokenSunday, Cruddy SundayHomer to the MaxI'm with CupidMarge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"Make Room for LisaMaximum HomerdriveSimpsons Bible StoriesMom and Pop ArtThe Old Man and the "C" StudentMonty Can't Buy Me LoveThey Saved Lisa's BrainThirty Minutes Over Tokyo
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