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Welcome to Moe's is a song sung by Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Moe in the episode "Mommie Beerest". The music was composed by Alf Clausen and the lyrics by Michael Price. It is the twenty-fifth track on the album The Simpsons: Testify.

English Bar

Lyrics

Marge:
Maybe some cheerier pink would make this place less of a dive.
Moe:
Marge, my customers don't like themselves, therefore, they seek the darkness.
(patrons groan)
Marge:
Well, as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.
Moe:
Look, I like Moe's the way it is, alright, and I ain't changin' it for any dames, skirts, Suzy Qs, or facemacer.
Marge:
I had a feeling you'd say that. So I prepared something that might help you change your tune.
This place is a diamond,
But it's trapped in the rough.
Moe:
Yeah, well the sign still says "Moe's,"
So enough of your guff.
Marge:
Here's my new idea
To sell both beer and grub:
We will turn this filthy dive
Into a proper old-time British pub.
Moe:
A British bar?
Bart and Lisa:
(to the tune of "Rule Brittania")
Darts and meat pies,
And lager in pint glasses.
What a classy way
To get drunk off your asses!
Moe:
Hey, hold the phone! An English pub! That just might work!
All:
In song!
Moe:
Oh, my bar could be British instead of arm-pittish
So why don't we all--
Ah, screw it, let's get renovating.
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