|| When You Dish Upon a Star
- Homer: I was having the most wonderful dream. I had a hat and a tie with no pants on!
- Lisa: You promised to take us to the lake.
- Homer: I promise you lots of things. That's what makes me such a good father.
- Lisa: Actually, keeping promises would make you a good father.
- Homer: No, that would make me a great father.
- Man: You can't operate a boat under the influence of alcohol.
- Homer: Oh, that sounds like a wager to me!
- (Alec Baldwin, Kim Basinger and Ron Howard are talking about giving Homer another chance.)
- Alec: We'd want another chance if one of us made a bad film right?
- (Awkward silence.)
- Kim Basinger: Let's get him.
- Alec Baldwin: And this time, it's personal. What? It is personal. He's got our underpants!
- Apu: Mr. Simpson, these exotic items are suspiciously different from your usual order of beer and pork. What gives?
- Homer: Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.
- Homer: Well I'll always have my prank calls. Hello, old lady from Titanic... you stink!
- Kim: I'm really looking forward to seeing Homer again. He has the most interesting odors!
- Alec: Oh, hey, Ron. We heard you were looking for a place in Springfield.
- Ron: Yeah, well, it's the only town in America that'll let me fish with dynamite.
- Marge: Homer, when did you become a member of PETA?
- Homer: Well, you know me. I love animals: Beef, chicken, veal. If you're not part of the solution, Marge, you're part of the problem.
- Homer: She may not be famous, but she's right!
- Alec: (Referring to Homer's movie idea) Aw, maybe I shoulda made his movie.
- Kim: Yeah it wasn't that bad. I mean the script might have worked if you got rid of the talking pie.
- Kim: Most people don't even know where Springfield is.
- Homer: Yeah... To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure.
- Homer: When was the last time Barbara Streisand cleaned out your garage? And when it's time to do the dishes...where's Ray Bolger? I'll tell ya! (shouting) Ray Bolger...is lookin' out for Ray Bolger!
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